If you’re supporting your children financially, or thinking about it, you’re not alone.
For many people in their 50s and 60s, helping family has become a normal part of financial life. Whether it’s contributing towards a deposit, covering day-to-day costs, or stepping in when things feel uncertain, the instinct to help is strong.
But it can also raise a difficult question:
“How do I support them without putting my own future at risk?”
Aldermore’s Savings Tracker* highlights just how common this balancing act has become. Parents of adult children have given £8,096 on average from their savings, with 27% saying it has significantly reduced their own safety net.
This highlights something important: supporting family is often meaningful, but it can come with real financial consequences.
The key is not whether you help. It’s how you structure that support so it remains sustainable.
Many parents feel a strong sense of responsibility to support their children financially, especially in today’s economic climate.
The research shows:
At the same time, your own financial position may feel less certain than expected.
This creates a tension between generosity and security.
That’s why having a clear, manageable approach matters.
Before offering support, it’s worth taking a step back.
Start with your own needs:
This isn’t about being cautious for the sake of it. It’s about recognising that your financial resilience comes first.
The Savings Tracker shows that many people are already saving defensively, prioritising buffers and financial security because of wider uncertainty.
Protecting that foundation means you’ll be in a stronger position to help over time.
Once you’re clear on your position, the next step is setting boundaries.
This might include:
Without this clarity, it’s easy for support to grow gradually, often without fully noticing the impact.
Setting a limit doesn’t make you less supportive. It makes your support sustainable.
One of the most effective ways to stay in control is to separate your savings by purpose.
Rather than having one pot, consider splitting your money into clear roles:
This simple structure removes uncertainty. You don’t have to make decisions “in the moment” because you already know what each part of your savings is for.
Different savings accounts can support different needs:
Money can be a sensitive subject, particularly within families.
But clarity early on can prevent misunderstandings later.
If you’re offering support:
The Savings Tracker also highlights that many people rely on informal sources, like family, when making financial decisions.
That makes honest conversations even more important.
Being transparent doesn’t weaken relationships. In many cases, it strengthens them.
Both your situation and your children’s situation may change over time.
That’s why flexibility matters.
Having savings that remain accessible means you can:
This reflects a wider trend in saving behaviour. The majority of savers prioritise access over fixed returns, showing how important flexibility has become when managing uncertainty.
In practice, flexibility gives you something important: choice.
Not all of your savings need to do the same job.
And when you are supporting family, that distinction becomes even more important.
For example:
This kind of structure allows you to balance two priorities at once:
It also reduces the risk of decisions being driven by pressure or emotion in the moment.
Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable, especially when your instinct is to help.
But protecting your own financial position is not the same as refusing support.
It means:
The reality is that many parents are already feeling this strain. With over a quarter saying support has reduced their own safety net, it’s clear that without boundaries, generosity can come at a cost.
Taking a structured approach helps prevent that.
There’s no fixed amount. What matters is that any support doesn’t compromise your own financial security or long-term plans.
It depends on your situation. Some people prefer one-off support for clarity, while others provide smaller, ongoing help. Setting clear expectations is key.
Separating your savings into clear pots, such as long-term security and family support, can help ensure you’re not drawing from funds you need for yourself.
Helping your children financially is often about more than money.
It’s about wanting to give them stability, opportunity and reassurance.
But that support works best when it’s built on a strong foundation, your own.
By:
you can support your family in a way that feels manageable, sustainable and confident.
Because the goal isn’t just to help today.
It’s to make sure you’re still secure tomorrow.
* Research conducted on behalf of Aldermore bank by Opinium in March 2026 among a nationally representative sample size of 3,000 UK adults.